I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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