I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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