It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
