Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
birth control should be required to get into college
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
