So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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