YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
