i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
