beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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