He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Send help, water and tortillas.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
