We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
