do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
