I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
