...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
