Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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