i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
