I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
