her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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