So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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