Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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