she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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