Don't make out with my wife yet
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
