they need to just BURY HIM!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if only i could text you this smell
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
