All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
