I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
