You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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