her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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