You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
