I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
