im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
