but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
