Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have aggressive nipples.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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