Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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