Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
