There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
