Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
