stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
