I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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