i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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