Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
