sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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