So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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