yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
