his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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