i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
