So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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