Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
