Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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