1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
they need to just BURY HIM!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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