i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
