I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize