I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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