I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize