Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize