I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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