I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize