READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize