What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
