you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
