he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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