i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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