the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
